


Nocturne

by hyukko (CorellianSea)



Category: Super Junior
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M, hospital!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:18:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6685315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorellianSea/pseuds/hyukko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Lee can only do so much for his young patient.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nocturne

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I actually started this not too long ago but had some trouble finishing it. After taking a good break from the internet, i gained my spark into writing this again. :) I’ve watched and re-watched scrubs lately so this is where the hospital/doctor theme came from

 

 

"His kidneys are already failing. There's really... Nothing more we can do."

The words echo within the small patient room and everything just fuzzes out for Hyukjae and his nurse who standing beside him with a grim expression. The heart monitor beeping in the background starts to become more predominate with every chime, to remind them that, yes, this was very much reality and yes, this man was not going to make it to see tomorrow morning's sunshine.

The couple standing before him shrivel at the news, quite literally too, falling into each other's embrace as they cry, tears falling one by one and collecting on the smaller partner's gray shirt. He looks up to Mr. Choi and his partner with grief he could not express for their adopted son. It was a short life lived. "The most we can do is make him as comfortable as possible until it’s time for him to go. There will be two nurses at your side tonight at all times to handle anything you have problems with. He'll be awake for most of the evening before we put him to sleep tonight and he passes in peace."

"Yes, thank you Dr. Lee, thank you for all you've done." They nod and he walks out of the room briskly, finding himself a little more than disappointed in himself since he wasn't able to save this boy in the first place. His white coat starts flapping behind him while eyeing the boy on the hospital bed with a sharp eye on his way out. The ventilator fogs up with every rise of his chest and clears with every fall.

 

~

 

_"Hey there, I'm Dr. Lee and I’m gonna be your doctor for your visit here today. So what's up man? Why are you here?" There's a gummy, bright smile flashed in the patient's dull room, immediately lighting things up with enthusiasm that was hard to find in a place like this._

_"I'm Donghae, nice to meet you." The teen smiles sweetly, sitting up a little on his bed before wincing at the IV tugging at his arm and slows his movements. "My joints and limbs were swelling more and more lately, I can’t run anymore and now I can barely walk. I thought it was because of soccer but my parents are worried. So they brought me here instead of the clinic."_

_Hyukjae flips through the chart with little thought about what he said, it was more of doctor thing to read what the stats had to say compared to the patients and eyes the wheelchair next to the bed. "Well..." He bites his lip, "I see your parents are bit worried and right to be. Have you been showing anything else or anything you can be specific about to me?"_

_The boy looks rather sullen suddenly and he wonders of he might have said something wrong. "Yeah... I've been fighting with my parents more lately. I don't know... My counselor tells me that it’s natural since I’m seventeen and stuff. But I get really angry for no reason. And sometimes I feel like hurting myself... I told the last nurse this and she said it was normal. But I’m not like this at all."_

_"That's no good." Hyukjae sounds, "I remember when I was young and seventeen as well, I wanted to be a dancer but my parents wanted more for me. I got really angry at them too back then. So it’s okay, alright? It's natural to fight with your parents. If your anger gets out of control again, then tell me, we’ll check it out and see if there’s anything else affiliating with your mood."_

_Donghae finds the words to be reassuring and smiles a toothless smile, nodding his head rather frantically and his long brown hair bounces._

_"Well, I’ll be back, okay? I'm gonna set you up with a psychical exam and then a blood and urine test. Those things are normal procedures so don’t be scared."_

_He was out the door in less than a second, missing the small wave from his newest patient._

 

~

 

His office is empty and quiet, save for the harsh rap to his door and the creaking of wood that was very familiar after a couple years of working here. He needed to get that damn door fixed but he kept pushing it off every single damn time. Brushing away brown strands of hair from his face, he looks up from his paperwork to see his resident standing before him and frowns immediately. "Why aren't you doing rounds for the interns? The I.C.U is full today. It’s good for them. Those fucking idiots need to learn a thing or two instead of lazing around." He says while looking back at his files.

"I was seeing on how you were holding up tonight. I can’t bear to see you like this." The man replies with little to no sincerity in his words while plopping down on the chair in front of his desk and sticking up his feet. There's a slight smirk on his lips that wasn't ignored, “And rounds are being held by Ryeowook-ssi.”

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Kyuhyun. Get out." Hyukjae curls back up on his chair, going straight back to his paperwork that he couldn't concentrate on anyway. He wasn’t in any mood to talk to this young man he’d been working with for years now, finding himself already knowing the answer of what subject the resident before him wanted to tackle.

"No can do, Dr. Lee. Dr. Park told me to keep an eye on you while he handles my patients tonight. He told me he doesn't know how to handle you when you get like this. Sungmin and I are just paging each other since he's covering another nurse's shift tonight, and he’s also handling Donghae tonight."

Hyukjae grimaces at the name he was avoiding. "Well lucky for you. I have tons of paper work and I have no time for talking at all. Can’t you just stand outside my door for now and then tell Jungsoo that you were looking out for me? Just tell him I’m fine later." He scowls.

"Nope," The younger man grins, chuckling a bit at the near growl that came from the attending doctor of this hospital. He's then quiet while playing with his hands, and there's nothing but the sound of shuffling papers, the scribbling of a dry pen and grunts from a man who clearly was not at peace with himself. "....You know. Donghae will be awake for the next few hours. You can talk to him then."

"I don't want to."

"Yes you do--!" Kyuhyun finally snaps, losing his composure. It was a constant struggle to get Hyukjae to admit anything, and after four months of Donghae being admitted in this hospital, he was fed up with the lack of communication and stands to show just how angry he was about this.

"Just because you couldn't save one patient doesn't mean you can back out on being a good doctor in general. I know if it was some old man or woman you didn’t know the slightest bit about, you would still have enough decency to just send them off!  The kid won’t survive past midnight; he’s terminal, why can’t you just fucking see him and make him happy already? You know how he feels about you—hell, his parents see it too!"

"Yeah, well ---!" Hyukjae slams his hands on the table, "It's because I know what he feels about me, thats why I can’t fucking see him. Don't you get it? I'm the kid's doctor! I am a twenty seven year old man that's an attending at this fucking hospital so I need to act like one! This isn’t a fucking doctor soap drama where Donghae doesn’t die, that he somehow survives and we get to fall in love. Are you stupid?!"

 

~

 

_“Hello Mr. Choi. How are you today?” Hyukjae says while pushing back his white coat, sitting behind his desk while gently slapping a folder on to his desk and opening it. He leans over with a gummy smile and shakes the man’s hand._

_“I’m doing fair today, Dr. Lee. How is my son? What are the results?” He was quick to jump to the point, worrying deeply for his son._

_Hyukjae shifts in his seat, feeling his stomach drop slightly at the plain letters scribbled on the document before him and looks up to see his patient’s father squirming in his seat. “Well, your son has Lesch-Nyhan disease. It would explain the swelling of his joints and the mood swings he’s had. I also saw that he’s been biting his lip a lot when him around him. It actually happens to be a disorder when it comes to Lesh- Nyhan. It’s a hereditary disease and since he was adopted I’m sure you had no idea--”_

_“Is he going to be okay?” The man knits his rather expressive eyebrows up._   
  
_“…I’m afraid it’s a terminal disease, Mr. Choi. The most we can do is treat his symptoms, but his kidney’s will fail in time.”_

_There’s a shaky exhale from Mr. Choi and Hyukjae finds himself fisting his hands tightly under his desk, wrinkling his blue scrubs._   
  
_“If his kidneys fail then can I give him my own? My wife would be more than willing as well, what about a transplant list--”_   
  
_“Mr. Choi, I’m afraid that doesn’t apply in this situation. Even with a new kidney, his body will still shut down and his organs will still fail. His disease… is completely terminal and hereditary.” He grabs a file from the corner of his desk, opening it up before quickly scanning the contents inside. Hyukjae speaks while continuing to study the documents, “It says here your son was adopted from an orphanage in Seoul. His biological father died of a terminal illness that was unspecified here and his biological mother eventually gave up her child from financial issues. His biological father’s death must be the same thing he has now. The Lesch-Nyhan disease.”_   
  
_Mr. Choi shakes his head, disbelief paling his features, “But… My little Donghae… His father had him at around forty years old, I remember. We didn’t get to meet the father but we met the mother. They had a late child. Why is his disease coming to him so early? Shouldn’t he have a bit more time than this? He’s just a child! He’s seventeen with his whole future in front of him…”_   
  
_He thins out his lips, “…Mr.Choi… I’m so sorry but there isn’t much known about Lesch-Nyhan disease in the first place. It’s a rare case to see here, especially in Korea. How this ended up in the bloodline, I have no idea. But I’m sure most of Donghae’s past relatives have passed early from this. Donghae symptoms must have come even earlier than expected.”_   
  


_Mr Choi excuses himself from the room and Hyukjae has no choice but to comply. Instead he starts wondering what treatments could be available to their only adopted son._

 

_~_

 

Kyuhyun literally stares him down with the most vicious glare he could manage, mouth twisting down until another knock at the door breaks his stare, but not Hyukjae’s. He was furious that his younger colleague had the guts to yell at him.

“Kyu…” Whispers a blonde male nurse, coming up close to hug the man’s arm and he turns to his superior. “I heard yelling. Is everything okay, Dr. Lee? What’s going on here?”

The youngest of them all has half of mind to throw a stapler he saw on the desk before him at Hyukjae before shaking his head mentally and deciding that it wasn’t worth it. No matter how hard he tried or even any of the other nurses and doctors, no one could get past Hyukjae’s thick head, even though it was completely plain for everyone to see. “Nothing, Sungmin,” He says softly, pulling him closer. “Dr. Lee and I were discussing matters of a patient and we got a little carried away in our conversation. Anyway, let’s get some coffee, shall we? The cafeteria puts up extra frosted cake at night.”

There’s almost a hint of sarcasm lining his overly cheery voice at the end of his sentence as he practically skips out of the room first, white coat fluttering behind him as the younger does his best to hide his obvious emotions. Sungmin looks over to Hyukjae knowingly, apologizing in behalf of his boyfriend’s behavior that was not supposed to be committed to an older superior.

The nurse who’s worked here longer than the both of them shakes his head. “…I heard some of that when I came to check up on Kyuhyun and see where he went; I know what you mean but I also know what he means. …You have to make a choice or you won’t have one later. ”

 

~

 

The cafeteria is quiet and dimly lit since most of the visitors have left at this point. There was nothing but a few interns buzzing around and some doctors getting a late dinner for their upcoming shift. Kyuhyun sits at the table he shared with Sungmin every day, a cup of coffee in his hands and an unreadable expression on his face. Sungmin stares at him worriedly, letting his coffee go cold at this point. His boyfriend was never one to be quiet at all.

“…You know that he will see him sooner or later right? I know Donghae talked to you about him but you crossed the line when you started yelling.”

Kyuhyun snorts and pokes the cake he ordered a slice of, “I’m surprised you didn’t come in and back me up since you’re the one who practically convinced me to talk to Dr. Lee in the first place.”

“I couldn’t help it. Donghae is a sweet kid and he didn’t have long, he knows that. That’s why he wanted me to get Dr. Lee’s attention for him. ” Sungmin sips his mildly warm drink at this point, wondering how much time had passed for it to even get this cold in the first place. “I wish things didn’t have to end this way.”

Kyuhyun was quiet while chewing his cake.

 

~

 

_“Hey champ,” Hyukjae greets the teenage boy who was just coming out of the bathroom, limping from his enlarged ankles and knees. He closes the wooden door behind him politely and bows to Hyukjae. The doctor just waves him off and the man helps Donghae up the bed before deciding to sit down on the corner of it. Hyukjae stares at his legs, furrowing his brows when he saw mixed shades of black and purple on his joints._

_This wasn’t going to be easy to explain, but now they he had told the patient’s parents of the diagnoses, they didn’t have the heart to tell their son. So instead, he was fished out and here he was, sitting in front of a sweet boy tucked into a hospital bed with large and frightened eyes, almost knowing that bad things were to come at this point._

_The fucking banes of being a doctor._

_“So Donghae-ssi…”_

_“You can just call me Donghae…” The boy says meekly and Hyukjae smiles in return._

_“Well Donghae,” He presses on the name until he sees another toothless grin come up. “I talked to your dad yesterday morning after your diagnoses and we found out from your blood test that you have Lesch-Nyhan disease. Now, it’s a pretty rare disease that not very treatable, but it would explain your swelled arms, your odd mood swings and your lip biting too. Are you with me so far?”_   
  
_“I’ve had that all my life though, the lip biting--” Donghae starts, “But what is this? What will happen to me?”_

_Damn, it’s always that same question that floors him._

_“Lesch-Nyhan… is a terminal disease, Donghae.” Hyukjae breaths gently, nail digging into his own finger as he bunches his scrubs together in his lap. He was always terrible at diagnoses and could never handle his own emotions. Sometimes he would be depressed for days after telling a patient what was wrong with them. Now he often questions himself if his career choice was worth the pain that came with it._

_Donghae’s eyes are wide, unmoving and he gulps a bit before nodding. The tears are already welling in his doe eyes and Hyukjae bites his lip at the sight._

_This really wasn’t fair. He barely got a chance._

_“So… Terminal,” Donghae whispers lowly, “Terminal means that I’m going to die right?” Hyukjae knows he’s doing his best to be brave but his voice wavers mid-sentence._

_“…Yes. You… You have a few months at the least.”_

_It’s then the boy is bawling, sobbing with his head down low and Hyukjae rushes out to fetch his parents, hoping that there was some kind of comfort knowing that your mother and father was there to support you._

_It was also because Hyukjae couldn’t bear to watch any longer._

 

_~_

 

“Hey mom, hey dad,” Donghae smiles weakly from his bed and tries to shift his back to he could get up a little more to hug them.  However, his arms were so swollen that he couldn’t raise them anymore for even a simple gesture. So they opted for bending down to kiss at his warm little cheeks.

“We love you baby,” they say almost simultaneously and Donghae wants nothing more than to wipe his face from all that extra saliva but pouts prominently instead.

“I’m not a baby!” He pouts even more and wriggles his body when his parents laugh at his antics. “I’m seventeen and totally mature, ok?”

“Alright, alright, sweetheart,” His mother smiles and kisses his cheek again, but before he can protest the same male nurse that had been taking care of him for a while comes back in with a bow.  
  
“Hi Donghae~” Sungmin says happily, coming up to his bed with a clip board in hand. “I’m here to check up on your vitals and stats tonight. How are you feeling?”

“Hi Minnie-Hyung~” Donghae says affectionately. After being here for so long, he got a chance to really get to know the staff well. The brunette mulls on his answer before deciding that the thought he first had was still the best so far. “I feel… at peace right now.”

There was a bit of silence and Sungmin felt like he should clear his throat, so he did. “Are you uncomfortable at all right now? Do your arms and legs still hurt?”

“Uncle Kyuhyun gave me an I.V of morphine this afternoon. I’ve been feeling pretty good so far this evening.”

“I see that nickname has stuck~” Kyuhyun says while strolling in, his stethoscope bouncing on his shoulders as he assumes his position next to Sungmin. Donghae’s parents bow with a curt greeting of ‘Dr. Cho’ and Kyuhyun returns the polite gesture.

“That’s because you two have been so nice to me since I was admitted here.” Donghae smiles wide, bright pearly whites’ sticking out. His teeth were crooked but he had an endearing smile that was infectious. “I’m really happy you guys are gonna be here for my last night… It really means a lot to me.” The teenage boy smiles again and his parent’s flinch at his words.

Sungmin smiles and sits on the bed. “We’ll be here all night, baby… I even took another nurses shift to stick with you tonight.”

“And I’m actually off duty.” Kyuhyun chips in. “But I don’t wanna go home knowing a cutie like you might be alone with my boyfriend. You might just steal him away!”

Donghae giggles like a child and shakes on his bed because he couldn’t exactly move anything else. Sungmin brushes the blonde hair from his face and chuckles, kissing the boy atop his head despite the loud protest from Kyuhyun that Sungmin was very much his boyfriend. “You wanna watch any movies tonight with us? I might have to leave at some points of the night, but Kyuhyun will still be here with you. I’m on duty but he isn’t.”

“I wanna watch anime!”

 

~

 

_With a shaky exhale from Hyukjae, he grips the hospital doorknob and turns it to the right, successfully opening the door quietly to see Donghae sitting up and watching the window, curious of what was out there. He’d been here for at least three months now and Hyukjae found himself seeing Donghae the most out of his patients that usually came and go. There were never really long-term rooms here but Donghae had been welcomed just fine by the hospital. However, the brunette doesn’t greet him cheerily like he normally did when he came and Hyukjae knows exactly why._

_Being cooped up in a hospital room had its ups and downs. Of course you were comfortable every day, watching TV, eating in bed and relaxing in general. However, since Donghae was so used to sports and such, he couldn’t sit still every day. The swelling in his legs became so bad that he couldn’t walk now, and was instead wheeled everywhere despite his protests of still being able to walk. Everyone knew that wasn’t true though._

_“Hello Dr. Lee,” Donghae says quietly, it was barely a whisper from his lips. He hadn’t turned his head yet either and it makes Hyukjae even more worried as he stuffs his hands into his white coat’s pockets, trying to find comfort in nothing. “Today is really beautiful isn’t it? Its fall right now, the trees are losing its leaves. And the plants are changing colors. I like red. It’s a beautiful season, isn’t it?”_

_Hyukjae blinks rapidly when Donghae turns to him with a forced smile. “I never thought I would know when I was gonna die. At least I’ll go during winter. That’s one of my favorite seasons.”_

_“Donghae, are you thinking too much again?” He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bedding like he usually did. The teen seemed a lot different today._

_Donghae turns to him again before smiling and looking down, bringing an arm up to brush away the long brown hair he’d grown out since coming here. “I think so, Dr. Lee. Maybe I’m just being moody since it’s been so long since I went outside and stuff.”_

_Hyukjae turns his head to see what exactly Donghae has been studying for so long now. Outside the window, from the three stories they were up from, a clear pond with koi was swimming around inside, a few trees and trails where nurses would walk their patients or wheel them around for fresh air. It sparked an idea in him and he checks his pager to see if he had any other things to handle today._

_“Neh, Donghae…” He says while glancing down and putting the device away quickly, “How about we go outside for a stroll, huh? We can just talk and you can take a breather from all this hospital air you’ve been breathing lately.”_

_Donghae’s features genuinely brighten and he’s helped down the bed by Hyukjae, placing his immobile legs onto each leg padding before sitting down on the comfortable wheelchair seat. The man then almost immediately pushes them right out of the room and into the hallway where he would then go extra fast to scare Donghae, but it turned out the younger cheered him on. Next he knew; they were speeding down the hospital with wide grins on both their lips and laughter spilling out._   
  
  


_~_

 

_“Hi, I’m nurse Sungmin and I’m here to check on you.” The man introduces himself with a smile and his clipboard was placed on the nightstand next to Donghae’s bed. “Is everything okay, Donghae?”_

_“Nice to meet you,” the boy chirps happily before shaking his head, pulling the light blue hospital sheets closer to him. “I don’t think anything is wrong so far today. My legs and arms are aching but that’s about it.”_

_“Well alright dear, can you do me a favor and sit up? If you need help then just ask.” Donghae does as he’s told, with the mild assistance of Sungmin; he swings his legs over the bed and sits on the side while Sungmin studies the discoloration with peaked interest. “Well your legs seem a little darker than the last time I checked. I’ll page Dr. Lee and see what we can do about the pain you’re experiencing right now.”_

_With another nod, Donghae watches the male nurse leaves and finds himself a little unoccupied since no one was here. He looks down at his legs and frowns at the sight. Before, his legs were lightly tanned and toned, perfect for running and soccer. Now, they were dis-formed, large and discolored as well. He grunts and tries to move it a little and fails to even try swinging his legs. Donghae sighs._

_“It’s alright, kiddo, that’s normal.”_

_The teen looks up to see a man already zeroing in on him and checking out the discoloration with a white light he held in his hands. “You’ll slowly start to lose function of your legs. But that’s alright for now since you’re being transferred by wheelchair, right?”_

_He nods and the man frowns._

_“… I know I’m not Dr. Lee. But I’m his super cool best friend, Dr. Cho Kyu--”_

_“No he’s not,” Hyukjae brushes past his colleague with mild interest and he focuses on Donghae’s legs first, eying him with the same flashlight before Sungmin comes in as well, surprised to see another doctor within the room._

_“What are you doing here?” The blonde asked, huffing. “You know you should be treating your own patient, not Dr. Lee’s.”_

_“Donghae is a sweet kid and I’ve been keeping an eye on him. Plus, you keep talking about him every freaking day so far so I wanted to see. I didn’t think he would be good looking though. I’m a little suspicious and hurt now.” Kyu sniffs._

_Donghae gulps with a sheepish smile and watches Sungmin try to kick and punch the skinnier and taller man._

_“Don’t worry too much about them. They’re engaged but they don’t act like mature people, don’t they?” Hyukjae smiles and Donghae finds himself with a grin as the two bicker._

 

~

 

There’s a high screech suddenly coming down the hallway and Hyukjae is already yanking on his stethoscope and throwing his pen to the side, nearly tripping over himself while trying to get past his desk and out of his office. Several nurses are already running past him and he joins with the crowd, taking a sharp left turn with them as he yells in the room, “Get me a crash cart now! What’s the deal with this one?”

“Had an operation on his lung today and nearly went septic twice during the operation,” Sungmin replies while nearly ripping open the patient’s shirts and placing the defibrillator pads over his chest. Hyukjae pushing his stethoscope out of the way before ripping it off his shoulders in haste and throwing it on the floor, “Clear!” He roars and Sungmin immediately removes his hands, unfazed when the patient suddenly jolts on the bed.

“Clear!” He sounds again, and pulls the handles again, watching as the lifeless body of his patient jump again on the bed. The third time he almost forgets to yell, but suddenly after the shock, the monitor is back on and there’s a steady beep that continues on and on. There’s a sigh of relief that sounds from all the nurses in the room but not Hyukjae.  
  
“Check his vitals and keep an extra nurse on him tonight.”  
  
“But we’re understaffed--”

“I don’t care.” He snaps and leaves the room, forgetting his stethoscope on the floor.

 

~

 

“Where is Minnie-Hyung?” Donghae asks quietly after the yells of Dr. Lee had left the floor of the hospital in eerily quiet. He fiddles with the edges of his blue blanket and continues to look out the door of his room rather than the movie Kyuhyun had playing on his personal laptop.

Kyuhyun pulls him close and wishes he could have thought sooner to close the door than to let Donghae listen to all that. “He’s probably helping Dr. Lee tonight. There aren’t many nurses on duty. Our hospital is really understaffed lately.”

“Why won’t you just hire more people then?” The teen asks; looking up to the taller male snuggled next to him on his patient bed. “Wouldn’t they help?”

Kyuhyun looks down and pokes Donghae’s nose, resisting to say anything about the way he scrunched his face up. “Well, remember that old wrinkly guy with the dimples that came in to see you once?”

Donghae nods, taking out the ‘wrinkly’ and ‘old’ out because his Hyung loved to bully people with names. There was a man who came in to see him though—his name was Dr. Park or something.

“Well he’s our Chief of Medicine and he’s the one who makes all those decisions, but we apparently just don’t have the cash for that kind of stuff right now. When it’s the end of the year and more people graduate, then there’s always a flood of interns. So the hospital will be afloat again later.”

“Oh.” Donghae chirps, watching as Kyuhyun downs another soda and burps, making him laugh at how incredibly unprofessional he was with a patient. His gaze travels away when Kyuhyun gets more sucked into the movie and stares at the coat he’d taken off in attempt of relaxing with him tonight. As much as he loved the new friends he made here, he kind of wished that his own friends would have been here to see him off. However, he still didn’t understand how it was considered an emotional trauma.

His best friend and favorite Hyung, Heechul had come and tossed him around several times along with other classmates that came to see how well he was doing, but around half a month ago, visits were not allowed.

 

~

 

_“Stupid Dongseang…. You know I love you, right?” Heechul says while hugging Donghae close, snuggling up to him despite how much taller and larger he was compared to the bed he was laying on with the soccer player._

_“I know Hyung,” Donghae chuckles and beams brightly at the kiss he got on his cheek._

_He knew Heechul was never this affectionate with him openly but it was also his last day to visit. He’d been coming to the hospital every day since the second month he’d been admitted. Donghae’s parents just wondered how well it would do for his mental health if his friends were to say goodbye to him like this. With much persuading, he finally made them understood this is what he wanted and wouldn’t have liked it any other way._

_They share a moment of silence that was not broken until Heechul allowed it to be, which meant that he was the one who was allowed to talk._

_“Donghae, my sweet dongseang,” Heechul starts and nuzzles his nose against his cheek, laughing midway at the way Donghae squirmed from the sickeningly sweet words. “I remember when you were just a freshman at high school. You came into my class that I had to repeat for the second time and you had such a big, happy smile that just wanted to punch you and make you cry in front of everyone.”_

_“Hyung!” Donghae whines._

_“Aish, I’m getting there,” Heechul soothes, “And then I wanted to be friends with you because of just how nice to seemed to everyone. You were like this bright ball of sunshine that everyone wanted to bask in. You were cute and funny, and good looking too. Plus, you did sports and introduced me to Han geng from the soccer team.”_

_Donghae nods with a proud smile._

_“Even though things haven’t been going well for you, Donghae-ah,” Heechul looks at him square in the eye. “I’ll still protect you from all the bullies you faced because they made fun of you for liking fish and calling you a fish.”_

_They share a quiet giggle session._

_“And…. And ill love you forever, ok? Even when we meet in the next life, I’ll be loving you and protecting you there.”_

_Donghae struggles to lift up his arm and pet his hyung’s hair as Heechul digs his face into the other’s neck, wet tears making his hospital gown that much more uncomfortable to wear._

 

_~_

 

The movie ends and Donghae is shook from his daydream, watching as Kyuhyun closes and puts away the laptop. That same white coat most of the doctors here wore was right back on him and somehow, Donghae didn’t feel like they were friends at the moment.

“Donghae-ah, it’s hitting ten o’clock right now,” Kyuhyun said slowly, “You’re parents are still in the cafeteria and I’m going to get them, alright?”

Donghae nods with a shaky breath and watches the tall man leave the room with a curt nod back to him.

Silence fills the room and his breath gets faster, fear growing in his stomach as his heartbeat speeds up as well. His hands shake and his gaze doesn’t last long on each object he finds to stare at. Just when he thinks he might let out a whimper from the pure fright he was suddenly tackled with, there was a knock at the door.

It was Sungmin and Dr. Lee.

“H-Hey,” Donghae smiles weakly, actually grateful he wasn’t alone again.

“Hey there sweetheart,” Sungmin says while sitting on the other’s bed. Hyukjae pulls up a chair and rolls it toward him, sitting down as well.

“… You told me you were too busy to come, Dr. Lee.” The boy says softly.

“I made time.”

The reply was forced and Hyukjae found himself being glared on by his nurse.

“Uh… I just… I wanted to be here for you, Donghae.”

Donghae blushes and the doctor ends up looking at the floor.

 

~

 

_“Minnie-Hyung… Can I ask you something?” Donghae asks as he shifts in the patient bathing tub, bubbles flying everywhere as Sungmin sits to the side with a magazine._

_“Hmm~?” The man hums back, not looking up._

_“…Is Dr. Lee married?”_

_The nurse nearly drops his magazine and Donghae flushes dark red._

_“And what are you asking for, dear? He’s not married.” There’s a small smile on the man’s lips, finding this a little more than cute to be honest._

_The teenager avoids his gaze and plays with the bubbles, doing his best to not let the water slosh around everywhere. “Well… Dr. Lee is really kind to me and he always listens to what I say no matter how stupid it sounds in my head. Isn’t Dr. Lee really handsome too? He’s so handsome.”_

_Sungmin nearly gushes in his seat next to the tub and wishes to a billion stars that Kyuhyun was here to hear this. At the very least, even any of the nurses that he gossiped with on the daily basis. Damn, Donghae was cute beyond belief at this point—swooning over the man that was his doctor._

_“Dr. Lee is very handsome~” Sungmin nods, hoping to get Donghae to open up more. “But of course, to a certain extent. I’m an engaged man after all.”_

_Donghae grins and so does Sungmin._

_“I really like him.”_

 

~

 

His parents have gathered in the room and the same fear had come back to boil in his belly. Donghae watches as he mother wipes at her swollen eyes and his father sit motionless in the corner of the room. All he wanted to do was just hug them at this point, but he couldn’t even if he tried. So he begs them until they come and embrace him for the last time.

The cart is to the right of his bed and he breaths in and out steadily, deep, deep breaths to calm himself.

Sungmin comes up to him with gloved hands; lanyard jingling with multiple little charms, along with the one Donghae had given him for being so nice during his stay. The blonde nurse said he would even wear it on his wedding day so Donghae didn’t have to miss a thing.

“Hey baby, are you ready now?”

Donghae shakes his head but smiles wide anyway. There’s a sob that comes from his mother but he’s strong enough to ignore it for now.

“Is it… Is it going to hurt?” He whispers.

Hyukjae shakes his head from the back and pipes up, “No… You won’t feel a thing.”

“I’m just going to inject something into your bloodstream to make you fall asleep, okay? After that, we’re going to shut off your life support, the dialyses that’s running through you.” Sungmin says slowly, voice shaking.

“Okay, Hyung. Can you… Can you tell Dr. Lee to come here for second?”

The man perks up from the corner of the room. He had his arms crossed a scowl on his face for the longest time now but he approaches the bed anyway. Dr. Lee does his best to smile for Donghae though. “Hey there, champ.”

The familiar nickname has Donghae smiling as he makes the doctor open up his palm and wait until he stuffed a small piece of paper in there and closes it up. With a crook of his finger, Hyukjae leans down to hear a whisper.

_“Don’t open it if I wake up, Hyukjae.”_

Hyukjae’s heart clenches and he nods, smiling softly when Sungmin takes his place and removes the I.V to stick the needle of medicine into the tube. He pushes it slowly and Donghae watches as he mother sobs loudly and his father cry silent tears. The teenager has a contented smile as he waves sleepily and eventually closes his eyes after many tired tries of keeping his hand up.

Sungmin checks him again before pressing multiple buttons on the loud machine beside the bed, hearing as the machine slowed and came to a stop.

The room was silent and there was nothing more left than the wait.

Hyukjae didn’t know whether to leave the room at this point or should he just stay here until morning like he probably would have. He feels a hand touch his side and Kyuhyun is standing next to him, posture high and proper, but tears rolled down his cheeks like a waterfall. He was the first break.

Sungmin cleans up the cart he had rolled in earlier while inconspicuously wiping at his eyes, head held low as he brushes past the two doctors that stood there like rocks.

The parents were already off in their own world, mourning for a loss that had yet to happen and Hyukjae shakes his head.

Sungmin was right; he wished he’d had a chance to talk to Donghae before now.

 

~

 

It was at least two AM when the shrill shriek of the flat line filled the mostly filled room. Donghae’s parents were still there, weeping in the corner and Hyukjae stood in the exact same place as before, still clutching that piece of paper like it was his lifeline. Sungmin had rushed in right after the first few seconds of the beep and tears spilled from large, doe eyes while approaching the bed.

“Time o-of death…” He whispers while turning off the heart monitor, “… 2:32 AM.”

His mother’s cries are suddenly louder, screaming for her son while her husband holds her back, eventually being dragged out by him and some other nurses that came to see the commotion while Hyukjae continues to stand ridged.

Sungmin watches Donghae’s parents leave the room and suddenly its quiet again save for his few shaky breaths. “Be safe Donghae-ah,” He whispers while kissing his warm forehead, “Be safe there.”

It’s then Kyuhyun comes in, surprise on his features as he pants loudly and heavily. “I-I-I was in the cafeteria getting more coffee. I d-didn’t hear—I got a page and ran--”

“Hush, baby,” Sungmin says and rushes to his side, whispering sweet nothings that it wasn’t his fault that he was late. The nurse repeats his time of death and Kyuhyun brings his watch up to his eyes, nearly roaring in defiance when he realized he was just four minutes off. He throws his stethoscope and rips off his coat while screaming loudly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!”

 

~

 

“If you don’t move then the Morgue can’t get through to his body.” Dr. Park says while knocking on the doorframe and was not surprised to see Hyukjae still standing there with his fists closed tight. When he doesn’t get a reply, Dr. Park pushes him with his free hand that wasn’t holding onto a clip board and coaxes him.

“You have five minutes before I get security to remove you. I don’t want someone rotting in my hospital over nothing.”

Hyukjae turns back with a vicious glare but Dr. Park knows that’s exactly what he needed and leaves the room with a hum.

Dr. Lee exhales shakily and walks over to the bed, looking at the lifeless body lay there like Donghae was just… just asleep and nothing more. In fact, he’d come in many times to check on the teen at night. The only difference was that there was no sudden jolt and that sudden smile and that sudden hoarse whisper of asking Hyukjae what was wrong before rolling right back to sleep with a smile on his face.

“Donghae…” He says gently, carefully taking the other’s warm hand and squeezing it despite the fact that he knew Donghae couldn’t feel it.

The man’s heart plummets down to his stomach and possibly even deeper when he moves the ventilation mask and sees a small smile paralyzed onto the teen’s face. With a chaste kiss to his cheek, he whispers an apology and leaves the room for the final time as the sun peeks out of the trees from the window Donghae loved to gaze from.

 

~

 

“Heading home?” Sungmin asks with a tired yawn, throwing his backpack over his shoulder as Hyukjae changes out of his scrubs uniform and back into his street clothes.

“Yeah I am. We’ve had a rough night. You get some rest, alright? And take care of that idiot of yours.”

“Noted,” the nurse chuckles before wrapping his arms around his dongseang, the uniforms were off and now they were the good friends that have known each other since medical school. “I should honestly be saying the same thing to you. You’ve been working forty hours before tonight to get your mind off things; I’m actually surprised you’re not trying to take another shift from someone.”

Hyukjae snorts and buckles his belt, “Yeah, yeah. Stop looking at all the shifts schedules alright? Jeez, it’s like you stalk me when you’re not smacking on your boyfriend half the time.”

Sungmin pouts and lets go of him to find Kyuhyun waiting at the door of the locker rooms, “I heard that,” the younger accuses while embracing the shorter man, “You called me an idiot! I’m smart ok, super smart!”

The cries of ‘genius’ and ‘prodigy’ bounce off the walls as he was dragged away by his lover.

It’s another ten minutes of packing his things before he’s mentally deemed ready to go and sleep for the next fourteen hours or so, then probably eat and drink before sleeping yet again and waiting until his pager beeps and he’s back onto the job. It was a vicious cycle that never ended and he couldn’t let this one thing phase him, no matter how important it was, there were other lives to save and people to care for.

Once he steps foot outside of the hospital, he glances back and digs his hands into his pocket, getting that scrunched piece of paper that he had yet to read. The first thing he notices is on the corner, there’s a little fish drawn in.

 

~

 

_“Hey, Dr. Lee, did you know people used to make fun of me for liking fish and the ocean too much?”_

_Hyukjae looks up from his position on the chair where he was bandaging the legs of the teen who sat on the bed. The swelling increased so much lately that the morphine was struggling to help with the pain because the skin split from the sheer stretch. So he patched it up with much care. “People used to call me a monkey boy because I looked like one so much. School can be a horrible place sometimes.”_

_He giggles and Hyukjae looks up and shares a small chuckle before getting back to work. “The sea is my favorite thing ever and so are sea animals. I wanted to be a marine biologist at first, but…”_

_Hyukjae’s continues to wrap the cotton around his leg quietly before patting it lightly after a job well done._

_“If we were some kind of sea life, I think I would want to be a clown fish and you could be the sea anemone that would protect me.”_

_“I don’t think I would mind that, actually.”_

 

~

 

The scribbled drawing was done with much effort after Donghae lost use of his fingers but it was still noticeable on what it said. With a deep breath, he turns his head to the left slightly and his eyes dart to horrible scratchy Korean and smiles.

 

**_‘Let’s meet again in the sea.’_ **

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

A/N: I hope you enjoyed :)

 


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